officially starting...

So I think I have officially started my weight loss...finally. I'm going to the gym today to sign up and I've also contacted one of my old friends mom's who is a weight loss guru and she is going to help me set up a plan and stick to it. I have also started eating better and I'm not letting myself have any more breadsticks at work and if I do eat there it is only going to be wheat pasta. I am going to eat breakfast everyday and take my vitamins everyday. I want to lose 10 pounds by the 30th, i think I already said that though. I really want this to work because I am sick of being this weight and I'd love to drop a bunch of weight and have Romi see me and see what he is missing. Not that I want to be with him again but I want to prove that I am good looking and a good catch :)

I've been thinking about Miles a lot lately which is not good. I miss him and I've been wondering when or if I'll ever talk to him again. When my brother gets home from Germany I think I'm going to ask for his number and see what happens. I don't want to be annoying or bothersome but now that he is single I need to know that there isn't a chance to at least be friends. I really do believe he is my soul mate and I just can't walk away from a chance to be with him again...even if it is not the smartest move.

Oh well, until tomorrow...

new year...new life

well, a new year has passed and I'm heavier than ever.

I'm single, graduating from college in May and have nothing else to do except work on my weight loss. I miss Miles, and knowing now that he is single, I miss him even more. I would give anything to have him look at me the way he used to. Before I work up the courage to call him, I want to lose at least 10 pounds if not more and by the time the pool starts, I would love to be down 30 pounds. When I don't have a boyfriend I do better with weight loss and sticking to a schedule because no one can mess it up for me except myself so hopefully I get my act together and actually do what I'm talking about! I want to post before and after pictures, hopefully I'll continue losing weight and get down to 160 again but that means I have over 50 pounds to lose and that is a lot of weight...maybe that should be my goal by next new years...to lose 50 pounds!! Sounds good to me. I'm trying to stay as positive as possible but when I have no one in my life really, it's hard. I know I'll find someone someday and I would take Miles back tomorrow if he called me but I don't see that happening so I have to settle for second best, whoever that may be. He is my soul mate and the person I was meant to spend my life with but I messed everything up and I think we got together when we were too young...oh well, I can't go back now, and I can't take back all of these stretchmarks but I can sure try! So, today is the 6th, technically even if it is the wee hours of the morning, but by jan. 30 I want to be down 10 pounds. I don't know my current weight but as soon as I find out I will post it and together, we can lose the weight. I am talking to myself here but that should be motivation enough!

Until next time...